KuroNeko's Society

This may seems hard to believe ..
But I'm willing to give advice to those who asked for it ..

I don't really care much about anyone , or their business, or their whole lives for that matter ..
There are rare moments where I seemed like I cared , but that's probably just me pretending to , or I didn't get enough sleep the day before ..

So it's really a bizarre experience for me to actually play a role in someone's life ..
I dunno which is weirder , me giving advice or the people who asked for them ..
I'd advice them NOT to ask for my advice , but since I'm not using them anyway , instead I'll advice them to take them ..

What's the worst thing that could happen anyway ..
In the end , it will all come down to 3 simple outcomes :
- Nothing happens ..
- You fixed their problems ..
- You just messed up their problems even further ..

What people see as a burden of obligation and  responsibility of the ramifications of their advice to the person's life , I see as an opportunity of experiment ..
I like to apply the 'butterfly effect' on the subject and see the final aftermath of my actions on the subject's condition ..
Did I just help ? Or did I made matters worst ? Or have I caused absolutely no effect whatsoever ..

Made no mistake , I have zero intentions with toying with another person's life and far from disrupting it just for the sake of experiments ..
But with successful results , I can use the data to assist my fellow peers with similar problems to my subject ..
With failed result , I can attempt another experiment (not necessary with the same subject and similar situation) but with a different approach to see which advice can contribute to the best outcome ..

So basically , I'm helping people and studying them at the same time ..

I've seen an Indian being best friends with a Malay ..
They are my secondary school juniors ..

I've seen a girl with a full hijab and purdah on hanging out with a free-haired girl wearing skin-tight clothes ..
They are someone I met on the way home from class ..

I've seen a non-Muslim girl accompanying her Muslim friend while she was performing solat ..
They are my classmates in my university ..

I've seen a Chinese man happily married to a Malay woman ..
They are the parents of a friend of mine ..


Hmmm ..
So there ARE some hopes left for this world ..
 

I've heard from somewhere that if you change the way you look at things , you'll experience the world in a different perspective ..

Let me clarify on that ,


Assuming you're already figured how this f**ked up world works , in your head it's just a place filled with hatred , hostility , deceit , human ugliness and other awful things done by humans mostly .. By this your mind is probably set to 'pessimist mode' by default .. Everything you see has something wrong with it , everyone you meet are lying bastards , everything good thats happened to you seems too good to be true ..


You're suspicious about everything ..
Your paranoia consumes you ..
You're breaking ..

In the end , you're just as f**ked up as everything else is .. And with this preconceived idea , you mind will naturally go along with the assumption of having no alternative way out of this insanity ..
But apparently , there is ~


If , and only if you develop the ability to switch between the two modes ..
With sincere and free-willed decision on our part to condition our minds to accept the flaws of the universe , we are finally realizing that nobody nothing's perfect ..
This brand new sight will allow us to see the positivity in everything , the chances in every possibility , the reasons for every occurrence , the solace in every chaos ..

To paraphrase , we are the architects of our own life ..
It's entirely up to us to choose what kind of world we want to live in ..
Either we want to live a life filled with light and God's blessing ..
Or , we choose to suffer in a world of darkness set in Devil's script ..

Tough decision ? No .. But the process of converting and getting there is ..
Well , good luck with that .. I sincerely hope that you'll get further than where I am ..

<Insert awesome greeting for fellow imaginary readers here>

So here we are again , ANOTHER post about me .. Talk about a narcissistic cat huh ? (Remind me to write a post about that one later ..)

So yeah , I'm a very antisocial kind of person , which isn't all that surprising judging from my previous entries .. The question is , do I really have an antisocial personality disorder ? And to what extend ?
I've made a list of my 'something-is-wrong-with-me' .. Let's see :

- Tendency of disregarding others ..
- Hates going out in public ..
- Hates crowded places ..
- Have the tendency to disregard others ..
- Sometimes bipolar ..
- Irresponsible ..
- Rather be alone and isolated from others ..
- Failure to process emotions ..
- Incapacity to experience guilt ..
- Tends to procrastinate ..
- Inability to comprehend basic human traits ..
-Obsessive-compulsive disorder ..
- Deceitful ..
- Lacks empathy and remorse ..
- Difficulty to feel pain , emotional and physical ..

The list goes on and on , but I don't wanna seem like a nutjob so I'll just stop right there ..
Needless to say , I'm your typical certified introverted weirdo ..

So why am I telling you all this ? Hmmm , dunno .. Who knows .. Maybe it's nothing ..
Or maybe I'm just stringing you guys along until you're exactly right where I want you .. Mwahaha ~
<coughs>
Nahhh , it's probably nothing ..

Assalamualaikum ~







Well , what do you know ? Another post about myself .. Whoppee ~ Not ..
and I'm not even gonna apologize for my long absence , just not feeling like writing anything ..


So , some of you readers may have already got the gist of this post judging by the title and the creepy expressionless image of a random anime I picked up from google image .. But for you other guys who faces difficulty in comprehending the obvious maybe due to the fact that you guys are also suffering from a psychological illness such as myself , this post is about me suffering from an emotional deficit disorder .. (Not sure if it's a real disease though ..)

Not sure when did all of this started though , I wasn't always an empty shell .. As a kid , I lived my childhood filled with abundant amount and variety of emotions and , possibly , too much emotion .. I easily laugh , I used to cry all the time , I enjoyed the littlest things , I easily get attached to something .. Be it a positive or a negative emotion , I could switch back and forth from being sad to being happy faster that a bipolar diseased patient ..

But now ? I feel empty , not sad , not emo , not lonely , just nothing ..
I remember the time when I was mad at a friend for a particular reason , as I tried to get mad at him I realized that no matter much I wanted to get angry at him regardless of the gravity of the situation , I just can't .. Not that he means anything to me , hahahaha (that's a good one Kuroneko ..)
But then I tried to get mad for NOT being able to get mad , and guess what ? I couldn't do that either .. So in the end , I just said , "Mehh , f**k it .." And just move on with my life ..

But being an emotionless robot also has it's perks , but I think I'll save that one for another time .. Having a headache right now and not sure which emotion I should choose to pretend to have that would fit in this situation ..

So ummm , goodbye , whatever .. Mehh ~